I don’t know.
Some philosopher said that the first step to learning something is to admit that we don’t know everything. It’s a fact that I don’t know much. The only thing I know is that I’ve always been a loner.
It was not exactly a conscious choice, you see, but there are moments that isolating yourself is the only means of survival. Interact hurts a lot, even more so if your own home is a minefield in the middle of the world war. Each word has to be measured, each gesture must be calculated in millimeter. You don’t want to cause an unnecessary blast.
In this way, silence is the best option. If the word doesn’t come out, it won’t come back to you. The problem is that I’ve shut myself up too much. The world is a cacophony and I’m just a lack of sound. People scream but I can’t speak loud enough to be heard.
And when it finally comes out, the melody that comes back is too painful to be heard. What’s the point of a person who doesn’t support the world’s music to also have the right to sing?